By now, you’ve probably heard about the horrors that have swept America as a consequence of the government shutdown. Small towns are collapsing into the ground as government employees wander the streets searching for a subsidy or at least something to help defend against the cannibals who have been roaming the countryside at night taking advantage of the total lack of law enforcement to further plunge the nation into a state of anarchy as—

The Dow Jones Industrial Average climbed 62 points, or 0.41%, to 15192, the S&P 500 gained 13.5 points, or 0.8%, to 1695 and the Nasdaq Composite climbed 46.5 points, or 1.2%, to 3818.

READ MORE: http://spectator.org/blog/2013/10/01/shutdown-apocalypse-nasdaq-clo